I don't know what to type here , I'm feeling downright low now. I guess I just can't stop thinking about me failing the selection. Though before going I knew my chances ain't high but as it goes along, I found it bearable until that fateful day. My nemesis, it just fucked my life up. ARGH!!!! FUCK MAN!! Sometimes I ask myself why I'm doing all this shit and I look at the people around me and I found the reason why. I let them down.
DET 1, way to go. 6 more months to ORD.
All the way.
Failing is hard to take, taste and whatever that comes with it.
It constantly surprises me how the same thing can be so brilliant and ugly at the same time. I could be having a coffee, looking at the tree outside my window on a damp afternoon and think that every single leaf glistening with raindrops adds a glowing, simple beauty to the tree - only to stare at the same tree five minutes later and notice how deformed and out of place it really looks upon keener inspection. Maybe this world is too full of greed and pride, too used to selfishness, too caught up in sex and sorrow. Maybe too many people are driven more than they should by their emotions, that we are all somehow heading straight towards a space where life and all it entails feels null. We fly, we sink, we pick ourselves up again then we drown and finally we die.. people crumble so easily. Some are exceptionally vulnerable and others just find themselves subject to the occasional breakdown.. where do I fit in? For starters, I wish I were less of a pessimist.
Why am I still running away from it? Why?
Only the very best are selected, Am I good enough?
I'm back!!
你可曾困惑在你身旁谁是敌是友, 对你落井下石的可能就是你的挚友.
